communion

I was sitting in church this morning and was a little too distracted by the people around me and having a hard time entering into the Lord's presence. When we finished singing, one of the pastors stood up and led us in receiving communion. I was so thankful for that time as the reality that Jesus gave his body and blood for me became real and I was able to see God's goodness and worship him. When the communion plate was passed to me I noticed that one of the cups had a little wafer floating in it (dropped accidentally I presume). I thought, "here is a way to serve those who will go after me" and I took the cup with the floating wafer. Immediately my mind began to think about communion mishaps and the impact on a view of transubstantiation they would have. But thankfully, my mind didn't stay there long and I resumed my contemplation on the cross and my sins forgiven.

It was a really good moment. One of clarity.

Now I didn't want to be a distraction in case someone sitting next to me saw the floating wafer so I tried to stealthily snatch out the wafer from the grape juice cup. I was successful! But a moment later as I was listening to the pastor and trying to hold both cup and wafer in one hand it happened.

I spilled the grape juice, not completely, but probably half of the little cup. The rest was on my hands and a small spot on my pants. And then it hit me. I am completely unworthy of the sacrifice that was made for me. I can't even hold the cup that symbolizes the blood that makes me clean. And with grape juice all over my hands I continued to worship.

idolatry

I was going to sit down and write a post about idolatry. (a subject I wish I wasn't an expert in)

But then I saw that I just wrote a post a couple of months ago about idolatry.

thinking while driving

On Friday I was driving and had a couple of good conversations with friends on the phone and at one point I just started thinking about the love of God. I was thinking about the implications of the fact that God loved us enough to let his only Son die in our place. Now that wasn't a completely new thought but it was really meaningful to me at the time. I was thinking about what that says about our value to God. What we're worth. That he would let Jesus die so that we could have a relationship with him. I mean, why would he do that? What do we have to offer him? It doesn't seem like a very good trade to me. And then it hit me. The thought I haven't recovered from yet. God traded his Son's life for ours, and he can not be called a fool.

longing for significance?

I've been thinking some lately about a perceived desire for greatness that I've identified in myself. I often have conflicting feelings about this realization because on one hand I think a desire for greatness can be fuel to do great things (hopefully for God). But on the other hand striving for greatness is a pursuit fraught with danger, both for my own soul and probably for others.

Then today I was reading a book by an author I trust and he talked about 3 basic human needs that God the Father met for Jesus in the account of Jesus' baptism. The needs for identity, security, and significance. Ahhh, significance... maybe that's what I've been searching for!? So, now I am wondering if it's really significance that I'm looking for, or if it actually is greatness, and whether one or both are good or bad or neutral. I'm confused.

thoughts on idols

For a long time the idea of idolatry confused me. I would read about idolatry in the Bible but I didn't know anyone who made a little idol and bowed down to it to worship it. How did the idea still have relevance to us today?

Slowly over time I've begun to see that the warnings against idolatry have huge implications for us today. We may not fashion a little figurine from stone or wood but essentially an idol is anything that we put our trust in instead of God. And I and almost everyone I've ever met puts our trust in a lot of things instead of God. Of course the big an obvious one is money. I need to constantly remember that a job that pays, or money in the bank, or retirement savings, or whatever is not what provides for me. It is the Lord. Many of us have been reminded that money and jobs are not as reliable as we thought during this recession.

But there are lots of other things we're tempted to put our trust in (idols) out there. We put our trust in family and friends for happiness, we trust in health insurance and doctors for health, we trust in clothes, cars, houses, and vacations for status. The problem with idols is that they cannot deliver. They are dead to provide us with what we really want and need. I ran across these verses in Psalm 115 this morning:

vv.3-8 (italics mine)
Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.
But their idols are silver and gold, made by human hands.
They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but cannot see.
They have ears, but cannot hear, noses, but cannot smell.
They have hands, but cannot feel, feet, but cannot walk, nor cant they utter a sound with their throats.
Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them.

These verses make sense of Jesus' confusing words in Mark 4:9-12. Jesus basically quotes Isaiah 6:9,10 and says that many who hear his words will be like those who see but don't perceive, who hear but don't understand. If they did they would turn to the Lord and be forgiven.

Psalm 115 is saying that we become like the things we put our trust in (idols). And Jesus is saying that when we trust in other things we become like those dead things we trust in. We have eyes but can't really see and ears but can't really hear.

I heard recently that one of the primary tasks of anyone who preaches the Gospel is to point out and speak against the idols of the culture they're preaching in. I wonder what some of our other idols are?

Granddaddy's passing

Last week I traveled with my family to the Eastern Shore of Virginia for my grandfather's funeral. His passing was completely unexpected and has forced me to think about the inevitability of death for us all. I've thought before and wondered about the effects of a society that hides death in many ways. Though we are spared the uncomfortableness of death we slowly forget that our time really is short and tomorrow is never promised to us. Especially those of us who are relatively young.

It was really good to gather with family and celebrate the life of Granddaddy. He was an amazing man in so many ways. A father of eleven children, a husband for almost sixty years, a veteran, a farmer. He gave back to his community and traveled around the world sharing his expertise in farming to developing countries. He was committed and active in the church to the very end. And yet he always seemed to have time to play a game of Gin Rummy when I asked. He used to give me a quarter if I could cut the deck to exactly the 21 cards needed to deal a hand of Gin. We shared the same name. He was Thomas Berry Long, Jr. and I am Thomas Berry Long, IV.

Everyone who knew Granddaddy will certainly miss him but there are good things that come when someone we know and love passes away. I was comforted the morning I heard the news by the verse in Psalm 116 that says, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of those faithful to him." Granddaddy was certainly faithful to the Lord and he is now present with him. It is precious indeed. He is now in the presence of the one who truly gives life. He has a new body, a body not touched by corruption, disease, or weakness in any way. What a wonderful thing! I can't wait for that reality to be extended to all of creation and to everyone in right standing with God.

But there is another thing that is good that comes from an encounter with the reality of our mortality. It gives focus and direction to our life. When I pause to reflect on the truth that I have but a short time in this life it makes me want to live more intentionally. To make my life count for something whenever my time is finished. To be more present to my family and friends, to enjoy the good things in life, and to work with purpose for things that will last. In days past it was much more common to wake up in a house where someone had passed away. The reality of death was much closer to home then it is today where most people (in our country) die in a hospital. We've lost something as a society in that. But in light of eternity, I want to live out my days in a way that will count. I'm so thankful to the Lord who offered me eternal life and forgiveness for the sins that separated me from him. In light of that, and with the reminder that my time on earth will pass, how could I not gladly offer my life back to the Lord. To run the race of life with endurance, fixing my eyes on Jesus, being cheered on by the faithful, like Granddaddy, and not losing heart.

How many times do I have to learn?

This morning I read in Psalms 103: "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him"

It reminded me of something that happened to me in Haiti on this trip:

We had been working for a couple of days, digging ditches and laying pipes to bring water to people's houses from the community well. I was swinging a pick axe to break up the ground so that someone could come behind me and shovel out the dirt for the ditch. Once, as I brought the pick axe up over my head before bringing it down I felt the all too familiar pain in my lower back that has come to precede a major bout of back pain. Typically, after something like what I felt by the next day I will be immobilized in pain and unable to even walk correctly for at least a week.

I put down the axe and moved to side of the road and began to think about how I was going to navigate the rest of the trip once my back stiffened up. Graciously some members of the team surrounded me, laying hands on my back, and began to pray for God to heal it. At first I was grateful for their compassion but as they prayed I began to feel more and more uncomfortable. I began to protest their praying because I was becoming aware of all of the pain, hunger, and brokenness of the people in the village we had come to serve. It felt wrong to pray for my needs when there were so much greater needs around us 24 hours a day.

I believe a spiritual battle was being waged at that moment. Nick, an InterVarsity staff colleague said some words in response to my protest that I believe were directly from the Lord. He said, "Even in the midst of the poverty and pain of these people the Lord cares for you as well." That my needs, no matter how small, are not insignificant in the eyes of the Lord. I realized in that moment how much I struggle with God's love, especially when I'm in touch with how unworthy I am. But that is part of receiving God's grace and it is truly hard for the proud. And sadly, I am still a very proud man.

(Amazingly, in spite of me, the Lord took away my pain that day and though it didn't go away 100% it never hindered me from working or moving around for the rest of the trip. In the moment of the injury it felt exactly the same as previous times when I've been immobilized for a week. Call it what you want, but I believe it was the healing grace of our Lord.)